Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Today was not a good day.
My back has been bothering me for some time now and I finally decided enough was enough. I went to the Dr. who sent me for an MRI. They called with my results this afternoon. I have Degenerative Disc Disease. It is in my L4 and L5 and I am to see an Orthopedic Dr. at Summit Hospital tomorrow.
This is not what I expected. I am sad and angry and mad. I am 37 and I want to scream, "I am not supposed to be in this much pain!" I want to shout, "IT'S NOT FAIR!!!" Then I remember, life is not a fair. The county fair comes but once a year and there are rides and popcorn, cotton candy and Ferris wheels! If you are waiting for life to be fair.....keep on waiting', cause it ain't ever gonna be.
We all have difficulties in life, and I have to now take a dose of my own medicine. You see, it is easy to tell someone else these things, but much more difficult to swallow them yourself! Remember when your Mama told you to "choose your words carefully, you just might have to eat them!" Well, it is my turn. I must now tell myself, "Shannon, the Lord Jesus himself made you and he didn't make any mistakes. He has a plan and a purpose for your life and if this is something you are to go through, then so be it. It may be so that you can encourage someone else when they suffer with this very same disease. It may be so that you can learn to "give thanks in ALL things." Yes, even this. It may be so that he can reveal himself to you in a new way, and show you that"his grace is sufficient for you, for his power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9 It may be so that he can work a miracle and heal you and then you can use it as part of your testimony. We do not have a testimony without going through some tests! He DOES NOT WASTE ANY PAIN. He will use this for his glory.
I do not know the Lord's plan, but I DO know this. He has not failed me yet. He is with me in this storm. "The Lord stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. They were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven." Psalm 107:29-30

"Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all of his benefits-
who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases." Psalm 103:2-3

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